Every Wednesday morning, the girls in the office gather around to dish about the previous night’s episode of “New Girl.” Each time the incredible-looking drinking game True American is played on the show, we always discuss our very loose understanding of the game, and how rad it would be to actually play.

We were able to source the rules and wanted to share them, in the event that you want to have the most amazing night of your life the next time you have people over.

What is True American? 

“So, it’s 50% drinking game, 50% life-size Candy Land.” – Jess

“Well, it’s more like 75 drinking, 20 Candy Land, and by the way the floor is molten lava.” – Schmidt

“It’s actually 90% drinking, and then it’s got a loose Candy Land-like structure to it.” – Winston

In Summary: Players take turns trying to win moves in order to navigate the tables, chairs, and cushions which are your only escape from the molten lava floor. At the center of the game is a castle made of a bottle of alcohol and many beers. As players traverse the game area, they remove beers from the castle and drink them. Once all of the beers have been removed, the first player to reach the bottle of alcohol, finish their beer, and take a swig from bottle, wins the game.

The Castle: The Castle is made up of one bottle of liquor and many cans of beer (you decide how many based on the number of players). The liquor is the King and sits in the middle of the Castle. The cans of beer are the Pawns and the Soldiers of the Secret Order. The Pawns are lined up in four lines radiating outward from the King. These lines of Pawns also signify the barriers between each zone. The game ends when all of the Pawns have been removed and a player drinks from the King.

The Zones: There are four zones, each with five spaces where a player can stand. The center space in each zone is the only space where the Pawns can be taken and thus it is the closest space to the Castle. There are a total of four of these spaces. The spaces at the beginning and end of the zones are the farthest away from the Castle.

Setup: Before the game starts, determine how many beers total should be consumed and setup the Castle with those beers as the Pawns. Using the lines of Pawns as barriers between the zones; designate each zone, making sure to have 5 spaces in each zone as described above. Teams are optional.

Game Play: Players take turns attempting to earn moves. There are three known actions that can be taken on a turn.

The Count: All players yell “One, two, three” and then hold a number of fingers, between one and five, against their foreheads. Anyone holding a number that no one else has chosen wins. Winners may move one spot.
Complete a Quote: The player may slowly speak a quote from history or pop culture. Any other player that is able to jump in and complete the quote in tandem wins. (Ex: “The only thing we have to fear is…” “fear itself!”) Winners may move two spots.
Something in Common: The player may yell out two people, places, or things. Any other player that can reply with what these two things have in common wins. (Ex: If the first two things were Abe Lincoln! George Washington!  An appropriate response might be “Cherry Tree!”) Winners may move three spots.

Random Rules:

Everything that you hear in True American is a lie.

When a player finishes their beer, they yell “All trash belongs…” and all other players yell “in the junk yard!” at which point empty cans are thrown into a designated receptacle.

A player may yell “JFK” at any time at which point everyone must yell “FDR” and finish their beer.

….If anyone needs us, we’ll be busy jumping around on our desks wearing red tutus and stolen ladies’ London Fog trenches.

xx, L*SPACE